Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Coming into uni was very different because I was in the whole orientation mode again, ready to meet people and befriend the world. But after quite a short while I closed myself off pretty solidly, and totally didn't care about making new friends and stuff.
Hmm. Funny, I'd realised quite a long time back that I'd chosen to sell my soul to USP. But I never realised how - for lack of better word in mind - antisocial I'd become. It's not just about new friends, though. I've lost touch with a lot of my old friends, I realised. And it's quite sad because I was pretty close to so few (or so many, haha) of them.
The other day, I was looking through the bucket list that Mr Dax Young made us write last year. I realised that most of them are already obsolete - in the sense that I don't really want to do them anymore, or they just don't matter as much, not in the sense that I've already done them. Haha. Quite sad, though, that after doing all this, it may not even be anything that I want to do.
But anyway, I brought up the bucket list because #72 was "tell all my friends that I love them." And it popped into my mind when I was thinking about the whole friends thing.
I think I should stop thinking so much. Stop thinking who really cares for me, and just love them. Really make the effort to care for those I care for.
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose
Everything I'm doing now needs to be done for me. But in the end... who really matters? I want to just stop, and do what I want to do. To care for something BIGGER than me.
Lol. I'm not making sense. Shall go back to paper 3 angst.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 12:09 AM
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