Saturday, June 30, 2007

d-e-a-d tired. need to be in school 830am tomorrow. will bring pillow. i'm serious.
minus-one day left. she's back.
haven't played my guitar in three days. *note to self: find pick/ get pick.
need to pack room/find correction tape/clean bag/scrub table (split superglue on it).

not tired from slotting. tired from waiting around for seniors to slot/cancel slot. tired of being scolded for not doing props that were thrown at us a) that day/day before b) unclearly, with "don't buy anything yet" tags that get ripped off at the last minute and then shoved in our faces with new "why haven't you gotten/done this" tags.
tired from screwing up cues because i have no idea what's going on and what the senior wants.
tired from being bitched at/about. tired..

don't understand what's going on. not enough energy to focus and try. goodnight world.
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normally i'd turn green and cry (metaphorically for both) but in this state i don't care. i don't make sense, but at least the pain is dulled too which is what really matters at the moment.
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you took my heart. can i have it back. please.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 1:02 AM

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

i gotta admit, i'm a bit nervous.

will she have changed? yes.

will things be the same? no.

will we still be able to talk like always? i don't know.

i'm just praying and trusting that it'll work out fine. i really think it will because God'll take care of it and anyway things didn't change THAT much =) so yeap. just that teeny little nervousness..

other than that, i'm REALLy excited! haha =D i totally can't wait to see mel and vic man! like AHHHH haven't talked face to face in like 5 months?! =D hurry back..
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wonder what you're doing now? =)

Posted by nayrakroarual at 10:49 PM

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Sunday, June 24, 2007

today's worship was not bad. could have gone a lot worse. lol. praise God for sustaining me although i was so tired and feeling very off and forgot to bring the ppt slides. He got me back on track in time (also thank you to joanna and ben for doing the slides and petra for being a super great vocalist/offertory singer and claire and dom for being such wonderful musicians and teaching me and supporting me yay and eugenia for being so comforting and just hugging me when i felt horrible) and by the time worship started i was high. i was really really glad that i was leading this week, otherwise i know i would have totally zonked and been a walking zombie throughout worship and bs today. as it is, God gave me strength and i felt a lot better. =) thank you God!

weiyang is a good facilitator. he should do more of that kind of stuff. with more experience etc, he'll make a great leader =)! marcus, too. which reminds me that marcus is supposed to be my guitarist, not dom. ahhh sorry marcus =S i'll call you in next time. =)

after bible study went to the hideout for guitar lesson with joanna marcus and rui. it was fun! i felt so NOOB =( haha i completely suck at this whole playing thing. joanna left and then jasmine came in and played too. haha then halfway through i was pissed off cos my fingers were completely not listening to my brain so i was like LISTEN TO ME and i said it out loud *wince* SO MALU hahahahha then i think they thought i was some spoilt kid or something la. ohman. *note to self: do not talk to self when having guitar lesson. so anyway, marcus said that Heart of Worship (which i was sort of practising) was relatively hard to play (-.- everything is, to me LOL) and suggested Blessed Be Your Name. so now i can play Blessed Be Your Name, theoretically. of course, theory and practical are different. =( sigh. but at least i can remember its chords. heart of worship has more chords. =) i want to get good enough and learn how to pluck the guitar. haha. that's what rui was teaching joanna today. i was like *big enlightenment* cos i realised those weird strings of punctuation before a song are like tabs or something that you're supposed to read and it tells you how to pluck for the song. =) haha SO COOL. but yes. one step at a time. yay! one day...

i want a accoustic guitar. haha. even though the strings hurt more cos they're all metal. but who cares. anyone who's done pointe can take a little pain..

speaking of dance! O SCHOOL IS SO COOL =) yayyy i want to go! i went to see them that time with kyna. walked round chimes a bloody two times la please. but it was really cool. haha. =) and the guy (Ben) had blue hair. that's damn cool la. i want red hair. like streaked, like echiing's, but red instead of yellow. i used to want blue hair but hmm it DOES look a bit fake la. LOL. like red hair won't, right. i am SO double-standarded. oh well. ^^

stupid dom and ben got their modem confiscated. that happened to me once, but now the house is on wireless ^^ and my parents are withholding pocketmoney instead. =/ oh well. haha. i wish they were online so i could talk to them. or brenda. i want to ask her how today's jitterbugs hiphop class went. or mel or lucinda. but i want to TALK to lucinda. STUPID EXAMS! if not we could totally go out =)

FOUR DAYS LEFT =D i can't wait!!

and i might have a STUPID slot =((( claire's slotting! arrgghhhhh k nvm vj is close to the airport i'll beg her and leave early or something. been waiting for like FIVE MONTHS for this la. hmph.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 5:47 PM

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Saturday, June 23, 2007

i'm dead tired. gonna have horrrrrible eyebags tmr. haiwei said i look terrible with my tired eyebags and i'm going to scare of any prospective boyfriends. wow, thanks. lol. and guess who i'm gonna see tmr. the whole of tsd and like half the youth. wow, i feel so self-confident.

haha actually i don't really care? cos *yawn* not like they haven't seen me like that before, at camps (youth) or after concerts (tsd). yay.

Did you ever talk to God above?
Tell Him that you need a friend to love
Pray in Jesus' name believing that
God answers prayers


Have you told Him all your cares and woes?
Every tiny little fear He knows
You can know He'll always hear and
He will answer prayer


You can whisper in a crowd to Him
You can cry when you're alone to Him
You don't have to pray out loud to Him
He knows your thoughts


On a lofty mountain peak He's there
In a meadow by a stream He's there
Anywhere on earth you go
He's been there from the start

Posted by nayrakroarual at 12:16 AM

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

good morning world. =)

for there to be hydrogen bonding, the H atom must be bonded to an atom of extremely high electronegativity, such as F, O or N.

if an acid is strong, its conjugate base is not necessarily strong.

i have no idea what a conjugate base is.

we breathe about 2.01 x 10^23 molecules of air every minute. out of this, there are 3.41 x 10^17 molecules of NO and 4.02 x 10^16 molecules of NO2.

Bromine exists as a diatomic molecule, Br2.

the 12th key to the left of the middle C is the E you tune your guitar to.

valence electron pairs are arranged as far apart as possible to minimise repulsion.

a graphic calculator requires four triple-A batteries to work.

a daikin air-con remote control contains 2 AAA batteries.

so does an LG mouse.

there's a bottle of perfume from firmenich on my table.

allen and glenhill is a law firm which specialises in shipping. i think.

paseo white facial tissues are clinically tested by the skin & cancer foundation in australia.

skid is a new colour that resembles no other colour already named.

there is no way you would be able to form an image of skid.

the bond angle of water (H2O) is 105 degrees.

Ammonia has a trigonal pyramidal structure.

this is all useless information.

i'm wondering what you're doing right now.



C G+ Am F C G
Wise men say, only fools rush in
F G Am F C G C
But I can't help falling in love with you

Shall I stay, would it be a sin?
If I can't help falling in love with you

Am G Am G
Like a river flows surely to the sea
Am G F G
Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be

Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you

Posted by nayrakroarual at 8:57 AM

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Monday, June 18, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE! *hugs* i love you!
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it strikes me as interesting that haiwei knows more about my training than me. *shakes head* sad, too. haha i'm being lazy. ooops!
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i want to practice my guitar. but i'm so gonna wake everyone up and they'll scream at me. you know what. papa can play well la. *is cross* and he bought me my guitar and helps me tune it and all. which is nice. but he doesn't teach me he just takes it and plays and then hands it back. and when i ask something he just goes "you'll get it".
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do you remember when you were really young, you used to do something all the time, and you loved it? i used to draw and write. it was my dream to become a writer and illustrator of children's books. now all i write is this blog, and all i draw are little hearts and flowers and lame stickpeople on my notes. and even then, it's not often. i just realised today how much i miss all that, and yet how much i never noticed because i was so caught up in my life now i forgot to live.
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wonder what you're thinking...
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NINE DAYS LEFT =)

Posted by nayrakroarual at 10:53 PM

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RE: YOUTH SPORTS

YAYYYYYY it was REALLLYYYYYYY fun =D MUCH THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO CAME! i love all you guys =) (*qualifier: does not mean i will make a good lover with joshua sorry serene but ahhhhhhh hahahaha)

God is good all the time
He put a song of praise in this heart of mine
God is good all the time
Through the darkest night his light will shine
God is good
God is good all the time

we sang this song in worship today. =) it was raining terribly, all the way since sat night, and i was worried it wouldn't clear up and the whole sports thing would flop. but by God's grace, although it started raining even after lunch and we almost didn't go, it cleared up as soon as we got there. plus drizzled on-off while we were there so that the sun didn't come out and it was really bright yet cooling and windy and nice! today's events really taught me how God really knows what is best for us and is really very gracious if we will just put our trust in him. i know if we had just gone home we would have looked at the rain coming on and off and said "good thing we didn't go, too bad God didn't provide good weather today." but we did go, and we found out how gorgeous this weather really is to play games in. plus it was relatively dry there so we didn't get ultra muddy and stuff! i was really impressed. plus there were really little people around cos of the rain and we made alot of noise and all =) ahhaha God rocks!

after that we went to mac's to chill and played werewolf. serene paired me with josh for a lover. we died within two turns, how sad is that. lol. dom actually got cupid, but luckily we had to reshuffle (due to joshua, again). hm. oh well. serene rocks my socks! together we acted so guniang and bimbo etc. hahahaha. but i mean, like she said. it's not that we can't stand getting dirty and doing all those hiong tiring stuff. it's just that you have to be properly attired for it, which we were not. XD the irony.
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later daniel and serene dropped me off at serangoon gardens country club to meet my 'rents and grand'rents and nicole and family. they finished bowling so i just joined them for dinner. chilli crab! yum. but i think crab is way to energy-consuming to eat. prawn and chickenwing too. you spend more time taking out the meat than eating. like, sigh.

happy father's day =) i love you papa.

i love you too Daddy God.
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oh after coming back i spent an enjoyable time talking to the youths. haha. esp brenda =) she's nice! we're going to holland v to eat at cold rock next tues YAY =)
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ten days left!

Posted by nayrakroarual at 1:00 AM

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Saturday, June 16, 2007

daniel just kicked our asses in ginrummi. SIGH. haha. i tell you it's a luck game! hm that was very justin-like. lol. anyway, daniel got like 280+ or something while papa got 460+, i got 520+ and mum got 560+. david, despite getting really good cards quite a few times, his passport straight away plus a few other sets, etc, insisted on putting his passport at the very first opportunity after the first game in which daniel gin-ed. that first gin was partly the reason why daniel won by so much, but david preventing anyone else from gin-ing after that was also alot of the reason. i won thrice and yet couldn't beat dan. haha DAMN.

i don't know what's wrong with me! every time i just recover from something (flu, ankle sprain, knee strain, pull tendons, ingrown nails) something else goes wrong and i can't dance to my fullest again! i think maybe it's not my body, it's my mentality that i'll never be good enough and so i'm not willing to try. but oh man it's so frustrating! i can't see how far i can go because i can't work to my fullest. but you know what. i think if i really tried, i could just work through the pain. i'm just so lazy now i don't bother to push farther than what is safe. i give myself the excuse that i don't want to injure myself more, that it's better if i wait til i'm fully well. but i know i could have done more to get my ankle to heal faster (i think. i was kinda pushing it with netball and dance hee) and i'm sure i could push my bunion joint thing more. sigh. it hurts, though. okay don't be weak laura. if you ever want to dance on pointe, doing more than rises and releve's at the barre, you've got to work for it.

that's my dream. one, just one pirouette en pointe with a low passe.
amazing, the difference that one to two inches of extra height can limit you to...

Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:37 PM

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one sitting low, staring at herself...
one sitting upright, staring into the distance...
the last one on his feet, ready to move on...

W.O.W.


good memories...

Posted by nayrakroarual at 12:26 AM

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

after reading some of the Young Adults' blogs, plus people like cleaven's blogs too, i'm starting to feel like my blog is incredibly useless. as in, all the posts are so frivolous. lol. well, too bad. i don't feel like being profound or deep. thinking's too hard. bimbos have it easy man.


however, i'm trying not to blog so much so that it's too hard to keep up with all my posts. heh. which means i limit myself to at most one post a day. which means that on days like this, when i'm slacking at home for a long time, i get bored.

anyway, since i couldn't double blog yesterday, here's it today:

yumiko shared something else at her very very last lesson yesterday. funny, now she's leaving, she takes more time to say things and spends less time doing things with us. reminds me of how ms cheah does her lessons. i miss ms cheah! rawr. anyway, yumiko told us that we must try as much as we can, as hard as we can, to feel things. to experience. that, she said, is what makes dancing different from gymnastics. to dance, you must feel, must express. to express, you have to allow yourself to experience, and to feel. so many of us shy away from emotion and just rush through out lives day-to-day - focus, we say, on the right thing. but then it doesn't occur to us we might be focusing on entirely the wrong thing altogether. she also said that on stage, you may be wearing the most elaborate costume, but when you dance, you're naked because there is no hiding when you are dancing on stage. that's why you need the truth, and that's why you need the feeling.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause this dance is my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll see it however you want to...



life's about love, but there's more to life than finding love. or perhaps maybe you just aren't searching in the right places. =)

Posted by nayrakroarual at 1:36 PM

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

a couple of years back, my po po died after a heart attack or stroke or illness or something. i was never close to her, especially since she spoke mostly teochew and while she could understand (and speak a bit of) mandarin, i couldn't speak it (beyond "hi popo, ni hao ma *smile*?" anyway). she did make (or buy? i think it was buy) some clothes for michelle and wanting and i, this pink dress which i still have hanging in my closet although i've long outgrown it.
i did want to make her happy (not enough that i'd speak more mandarin than i could help, but enough to keep smiling at her and asking her how she was, etc) and she was very concerned about us and nice and all. my mum told us she didn't want to stay at our house even though she had just had a stroke and it would have been dangerous to stay alone, on the fourth floor of those old tiong bahru buildings, as she did, because she didn't want to disrupt daniel and i (it was exam period). she was always very quiet and soft.
when she died i never even felt one twinge of sadness for her loss, because it just didn't make much difference to me. i was slightly regretful that she hadn't accepted Christ yet, despite all my mum's efforts, but then my parents and i (i.e. the christian part of our extended family on my mum's side) still hope she perhaps did, during those last days on the hospital bed, as my mum talked to her, although she never said so. her grave - or rather, that place where they put your ashes - is still all buddhist or whatever, with the chantings and stuff written all over it. you could tell my mum wasn't happy about that. after her death, there was quite a lot of disagreement and quarrelling, which made things all the more unhappier.

on my father's side, nobody's died yet (i think?), i still have like 3 (or 4. err. not sure. haha.) great-grandparents. my grandma's mum is a little more than 80 i think. i've never been able to talk much to her, since, like my po po, she can speak minimal mandarin, and yeah i can't speak much mandarin anyway. but there was just this one day, last year i think, we connect for a short afternoon. over guess what. nail polish! lol. some things never change. cos i was trying to do my nails or something then i made a mistake so i asked my mama for nail polish remover. then she told me i should ask my tai ma for help cos she's really good with her nails. i knew she was good because her nails are the long old-lady kind, painted like bright red, but really very nicely done (except the whole outdated taste thing). so i did like look toward her and smile and sort of extend my hand toward her (i can't speak anything she can understand, remember) and she sat me down and fetched her glasses and peered at my fingers. lol. then like mama fetched the nail polish and remover and stuff and tai ma helped me paint my nails. =) she taught me how to paint them properly, too (paint the tip half first, then go over from the roots. no need to stinge on brushes) and how to remove them properly (the same way). she told me that alot of people think she goes to a manicurist to do her nails, but it's actually all done by herself. actually she didn't really tell it all to me directly. alot of it was told to my mama who translated. hahaha. =) but yeah. then i did my toenails and showed her. haha. she seemed to think it was well done, except for the colour (lime green XD).
tai ma was always more vocal than po po. but yeah. except for michelle and her family, i've always been closer to those on my mama's side too, including mama. goodness, even michelle calls her mama, which shows you how close we all are. oh but michelle's really close to those on her father's side too. hm well anyway. that afternoon painting nails really brought home to me how much we're really missing out, if we just ignore our grand(or great-grand)parents as oldfashioned and derelict.
there's really so much we don't know about them, and so much that they could teach us. i wish that i'd talked more to my po po, and i still wish i could speak dialect AND mandarin better. like that time we went to the old folks home, and so few of us could speak to the old folks there because they all spoke dialect. it's sad, especially for me, because by right i should be able to speak teochew, hokkien AND cantonese. alot of things we dismiss as propaganda, but truly the singaporean government has a very good point. the old are a resource of wisdom in themself, we can't just let it slip past like that. besides, they ARE our elders, after all. it matters, that we don't know slightest thing about our roots, for all our high technology and wide academic knowledge.

and they are people. whom we can grow to truly love and care about, if we just make the effort before it's too late.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 5:09 PM

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed
Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas.
You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding.
You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force.

An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people.
You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor.
People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all.
You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone.

Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul
What Kind of Soul Are You?


hits a bit too close for comfort. heh.



oh something yuniko shared with us that day:

Ballet is about looking for the perfection. You can never achieve it, only strive towards it (kinda like an asymtote) so you need to continue to fight for yourself, to seek that perfection.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 7:09 PM

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Monday, June 11, 2007

Dance is movement, and movement is life.

watched a bit of last season's So You Think You Can Dance today. i can't belive stupid america voted allison out of the top 4. like HELLO she is so bloody damn good. so is heidi but i just love allison's personality more even though both their personalities rock.


watching them i was just so inspired. you know when a good dancer dances on stage, it's true what all the teachers say, about how it doesn't just stop at your body, but stretches on, further. there could be just one dancer on the whole huge empty stage, but because she's so big her presence just fills the entire stage and it's just so beautiful. it's like, when allison or heidi dances, they are just so gorgeous and wonderful and you just smile to watch them dance cos you can just see how much fun they're having and how much they love dance, their passion and love for it. and then you just laugh and cry along with them, because you can just see the beauty and feel the passion too. and as the music ends and they stop moving, you can literally see them melt down into themselves, shrinking and somehow becoming smaller until it's just them in front of you. it's like the quote goes:


"To dance is to be out of yourself, larger, more powerful, more beautiful. This is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking."


yeah. when you dance, you grow larger - not bigger, larger - more powerful, more beautiful. when allison was dancing her second last dance on SYTYCD, alot of it was very raw, very "ugly", unconventional movements, and yet it was still so beautiful and so enjoyable, because she is so good, and she loves dancing so much that you could just feel the passion radiating out of her, half the world away and a year ago, still inspiring you. all this because she loves dancing so much and is just so good at it.

wow.


her last dance was really good too, you could see her happiness and yet her sadness in it, and just feel the tears as well as the brilliant, true smile that she had on. she was so glad to be dancing on the show, yet sad to be leaving it and OH MAN it was so nice =) i want to dance like her! *sigh*



both natalie and allison did flips in their dancing! omg! i have resolved to learn how to flip if it kills me (which might actually happen considering my stupid idiotic body). plus i mean, it's quite sad. 4 years of gym, 8 years of regret, and all i've got to show for it are one-handed cartwheels one way and a handstand. man! what is wrong with me. if i could live my life again, there are just 3 things i would change - 1, i wouldn't stop gym. 2, i'd join scgs dance in primary school. 3.. is for me to regret by myself.

for the love...


... and the regret.


still searching for a nice picture of allison dancing. help me =)

Posted by nayrakroarual at 9:14 PM

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Sunday, June 10, 2007

I AM GOING TO KILL DOM AND BEN.

then again, it IS quite a bit my fault. but still, BLOODY HELL why are they always so obvious?!
like, GRRRR.
then again, i probably won't kill them. firstly, dom would totally kick my ass and i would want to kill him first so yeah. haha. and secondly, at least i can talk to them la. i really love talking to them. it's so comfortable. they're like the brothers i ever had.

oh wait. i DO have brothers. LOL.

but yeah anyway. it's really great talking to them la. they're not too childish, but yet not like so mature i feel weird. haha. it's really like they're my brothers =) mel is so lucky!
then again, i probably wouldn't think so if they were. HAHA. but i do like talking to daniel. and david is cute. not mature enough to really talk to, though. hm.
well anyway, yeah. they rock. yay =)
...but still, OMG! !! i can't believe them. it was forgivable when they were just teasing me. it was SO not forgivable shouting it to the whole CHURCH youth, esp with like all the young adults there too -.- like WTH right. i felt humiliated. honestly. not like it was true, too! if they got the wrong impression i would like DIE.
speaking of shouting, i still don't know what dom shouted from his balcony. haha.

played badminton today! it was really really fun =) i'm really glad i went! it was fun playing with kexin and lucinda and the whole ginggang. we must play more! omg tabitha and jonathon and their little brother are like damn good! so is like daniel (goh) and clarence and zhenhao who is just PRO man and hans and joanna and ben and dom and YA basically everyone! haha kexin and lucinda are better than they said too la -.- i felt so NOOB man. LOL. then when lucinda and i played with dom and ben we realised that they can play quite well with their left hands too -.- even better than i can play with my right hand which is like -_- REALLY SAD. haha. oh and luc and kexin played against rui and me! hahaha and like every time they scored a point (in the obvious sense, since 3 of us, dunno about rui, couldn't count badminton points if it killed us) they'd go "hi fiveee!!!" hahaha then after a while they started doing it whenever they made a mistake too LOL it was hilarious. then after that rui left and like half the whole ginggang (i.e. zhenhao and tabitha and family ahha) left right after that la =( haha we continued playing til about 330pm, then played bridge hehe and then moved outside where luc kexin daniel and i continued bridging while clarence looked on and hans entertained everyone else with ns stories at the other table. haha.

oh i just have to say something for the kick of it:
being lovers is so fun! but cupid never picks me man =( although i have been cupid a few times but aiyah no kick if i shoot myself right?
hahaha now all those who play werewolf can just laugh with me while the rest go "huh?"

Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:53 PM

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Saturday, June 09, 2007

WOW (Walking On Water, orpc church camp 2007) was unexpectedly good. =D the speaker, wilson, was just super super good! WOW. XD haha i'm REALLY glad we got him. apparently they adults' speaker did really well on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th sessions, but when we joined them on the 1st it kinda sucked so oh well. but the thing is wilson is so approachable and understanding and friendly and all. and he's really good with kids! err. little children. OKAY fine young people in general. haha. including all the youths, young and old. some better than others, of course.

poor luke and eugenia and a few others fell sick though. =( oh we learnt a new game, "werewolf". it's like polar bear but MUCH more fun and exciting. =) and i got to know more of the youths - the younger like velvetina (i know, cool name right?), rebecca, tabitha, etc, and older like priscilla and serene and daniel and rui who are REALLY nice to talk to! i was really sad serene left early on the last day. the group felt empty without her. haha. especially cos priscilla wasn't in our group and claire didn't seem to want to talk so i didn't have anyone to yak to. haha.

oh and we won WOW night! i.e. our finale night skit was voted the best by all the adults, YAY! not even beaten by the bribes of the adults of the other groups (free bible study from rev burke's group, free supper from uncle eugene's group, free consultations from dr elsie's group - that actually worked, alot of mothers then flocked there HAHA). it was super fun, especially seeing how we planned it so last minute. eugenia was incredible, daniel (goh) was really funny too. we did the story of peter walking on water with a pirates of the carribbean theme. the 2 youth groups combined into part 1 (pirates of the galilee, the curse of the black clock) and part 2 (pirates of the galilee, at wit's end). corny, i know, but it was really funny hahaha and in between the 2 groups, to fill time, group1 did a commercial. rebecca stuffed jackets under her shirt to look pregnant and louis pretended to be a fedex guy. so eugenia said "a pregnant woman and a fedex guy are in a lift." uncle eetuo was like "oi!! i trusted you with my daughter!!" hahahaha and yeah it was really funny! then louis turned to the audience and went, "fedex. we live (lift) to deliver." LOL. anyway, i was narrator for my group. yayy it rocked la.

oh for the games, the youths divided into groups A, B, and C. i was B's cap, rui was vicecap. it was really really fun! we (brenda, jonas, rebecca, velvetina, serene, rui, me) did a "B wave" XD HAHA damn lame but super fun haha we squatted in a circle and did a kallang wave in a circle, except that we went "BEEEEEE" as we did so HAHA it was cool man! we SO had the best spirit! yay group B!

and we played water polo in the pool on all three days! (last day didn't, of course.) but i didn't join them first day. *shrug* hm yeah it was really fun! i didnt dare to take off my shirt but luckily the pool people didn't chase us out because alot of us went in with shirts and shorts on top of our suits. haha. the young adult guys all went shirtless, typically. funny how the swimsuit thing progresses. younger kids in diving-suit kinds, maybe one-piece suits for some of the girls, trunks for some of the guys. older girls all in two-pieces (hence the unwillingness to strip), older women back to the one-pieces. older guys all in long shorts, maybe one or two in diving-suit type (uncle benjamin) or trunks (my dad). haha. rui said that he can't seem to bulk up and is sad about it cos even though he keeps gymming all the muscles and all only show if he takes off his shirt. LOL. priscilla offered to donate some of her fats when she heard. haha. claire's like really really really good at sports man! but so is pris, and serene, and aiyah all the young adults man. haha. it was fun! brenda was our team's top scorer, she put in like 3/4 goals man. yay rocks la.


somethings i learnt from the camp:
1. God is always there for us - but only WHEN WE NEED HIM. i.e. He's not going to be holding our hand as we step out of our comfort-zone boat into the raging seas of risk and trials to try to walk on water to him, but if we start to sink and struggle and cry out to him for help, he will immediately reach out his hand and save us. matthew 14:22-31. =)
2. the biggest failure is not to sink as we walk on the water, but to stay in the boat. because when we've stepped out of the boat, we have already placed our faith in him, it's just that we get distracted and we doubt, forgetting to just focus on Jesus. but when we stay in the boat and refuse to step out, we refuse to trust in God that He will help us walk on water and save us and thus do not put our faith in Him at all.
3. God has a calling for each and every one of us, it's whether we choose to listen to and obey him when he says, "come."

=)



*disclaimer: God is there whether we want him or not, whether we need him or not. but my point is that we shouldn't expect God to coddle us all the time just because "He's almighty therefore he can therefore he should because i want him to." He knows what's best for us, which is why he allows us to face trials and even calls us to step out of our comfort zone into the waves because he knows it will bring us closer to him and that walking on water will teach us to trust him. yay.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 9:22 PM

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007


hm.
...


church camp tomorrow. i'm not as excited as i could be, definitely, but i am sort of hopeful. alot of it is the whole "getting away" thing. it's familiar - like you want to fall asleep and just not wake up, to escape. or the whole "don't focus on this, focus on something else" thing which i'm trying to deploy now. don't think so much it's unhealthy. haha i haven't packed for church camp yet. seeing that i'm supposed to be departing for harbourfront in like seven and a half hours, that's not too great. hee.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:04 PM

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I FIXED IT I FIXED IT YAY ME YAY ME!!!! *beams* hahahah anyway i can now view my blog without crtl-A'ing everything. which is like nothing to pro-s like nicole haha. every time i struggle with the whole html and blogskin thing i have this image of nicole sitting coolly at the class com and just typing out html like it's english (okay it is, but you know what i mean), like it's her first language (mother tongue doesn't really apply here considering the class singaporean's chinese standard XD)... i really have been in awe of her since then. like, WOW.

so anyway. you guys want to skip this whole paragraph cos' i'm just getting it out of my system so that i don't bore people half to death with it in person -
okay actually i kind of got it out already. haha sorry haiwei and lucinda and kor for the whole over-enthu about the mp3 thing. XD love you!

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to...

So breathe, just breathe...

Posted by nayrakroarual at 12:53 AM

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Sunday, June 03, 2007

one day, i know i'm going to regret not keeping a physical diary and depending on blogger. but well it just works so nicely. =)

interesting that when someone finally says stuff that you can understand, that comes from the person and not the image of the person, you don't bother to pay attention because it's, well, harder to. cause to you, it's more boring. hm.
very interesting.

so anyway, studied with haiwei and lucinda today. again. firstly, I AM TURNING INTO A BLOODY NERD! secondly, they are my favourite study partners. i completely love them. YAY!
but today i didn't really get much done. because i left my maths tys at home. =( plus i wasn't really in a study mood after the habitudes thing.
OH talking about it, it was good. i'm really glad i went, after all.
oh God let us be a generation that seeks
that seeks your face O God of Jacob
give us clean hands
give us pure hearts
let us not lift our souls to another
yay. thanks for bringing me, God.

hm i really miss mel. haha i knew i did, but i kind of thought it wore off, i didn't realise it actually. in school when im lonely, in church when im babbling with luc, even studying with her sometimes, or just now and then randomly something'll remind me of her and i'll just wish she was here. it's really true what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. oh! cliche! *wince* but yeah. sometimes cliches are cliches because they are rooted in truth. i didn't miss her so much when she was here. obviously. lol. dunno la. vic too. i don't even have vic's overseas number can. sigh. couldn't even sms to wish her happy birthday. asked mel to wish her for me. hope it got through haha.

haiwei's coming to church tmr! *happy* i'm quite excited. lol. at least it's first sunday...

full moon tonight... ;) good night

Posted by nayrakroarual at 12:45 AM

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Babel




things to do before i die