Saturday, May 31, 2008
After reading wiki on the chronicles of narnia, I'm not so sure I like the whole thing. I suppose it really parallels real life in some ways. The main thing I'm upset about is how Susan isn't with the rest of the kids in the end. Haha. It's like how some people are lost, and I just hate that idea. But like how Lewis never quite concludes about her, so I must pray harder and reacher further. No one is lost beyond all redemption.
I read the Chronicles of Narnia when I was young. It was cool yet terrible. The one I remember most was the one that parallels Genesis, about the creation of Narnia and the introduction of evil into it. It's rather like Harry Potter, how Harry lets Pettigrew escape and so allows Voldemort to restored to power, Digory sets the witch free of her entrapment. Sigh. Also very like Judas Iscariot - for the Son of Man must be betrayed, but woe to the man who betrays him! The bittersweetness of it all - oh well.
I wish no one would be lost. I do wish...
Posted by nayrakroarual at 12:00 AM
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
What if I fall
What if I don't
What if I never make it home
What if I bleed
What if I break
And I find that I can't take
The city below
The citadel holding my own hand
I'm holding on to something
That's keeping me from jumping
So afraid to go it alone
And holding up this fortress
With imaginary forces
Longing for a life down below
Have you ever stopped short in your tracks 2 metres from the rails of a 3rd story landing because you were afraid that if you went any closer your body would take control and propel you to climb up, and over, and to tumble over the rail in the glorious flight of free fall? That happened to me today. I was imagining how nice it would be to fly over the scene from that mid-level view, and then the gliding flight turned into fall as gravity hit...
Imagination is perhaps the most powerful force in the whole universe.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 10:41 PM
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008
"The first time we made out, I knew he was going to break my heart.
"By the second time, I knew I was going to let him."
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"What are you looking for?"
"Answers."
"Answers to what?"
"To life."
...
"What are you looking for?"
"Answers."
"Answers to what?"
"To death."
...
"What are you looking for?"
"Answers."
"Answers to what?"
"To me."
(laughs) "But Sara, there aren't any books of you in the library."
(silence) "I know.
(pauses again)"Books are useless for the most important answers."
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Funny, a year and a half into hating the subject, the theatre, falling asleep reading greek and fidgitting during lecture-discussions and dragging myself to plays in an attempt to blend in to the cohort because I just hated being there while they still had the love. A year and a half too late, and I'm finally starting to love the theatre.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 7:28 PM
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
- The secret which hurts so much that you take your revenge on it by calling it names like Nostalgia and Romanticism and Adolescence; the secret also which pierces with such sweetness that when, in very intimate conversation, the mention of it becomes imminent, we grow awkward and affect to laugh at ourselves; the secret we cannot hide and cannot tell, though we desire to do both. We cannot tell it because it is a desire for something that has never actually appeared in our experience. We cannot tell it because our experience is constantly suggesting it -
Posted by nayrakroarual at 9:06 PM
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Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday wasn't that bad. Actually, it was pretty good. The first thing I felt when worship started that morning was a huge stab of envy that didn't quite die off even though I tried to quell it. Shaun and Dom are
SO GOOD. Sigh. Anyway, BS was quite fun. Serene, Jenny, Tim J, Tim Loh and I went to SMU again. Then we went for lunch after BS. It was indeed quite fun. BS was a lot more fun outside church than it had been, awkwardly sitting and staring into our blank materials and trying not to listen to DomFoo's voice from two feet away. Yeah, I'm really starting to like our group now. I still miss having DomYeo and Kimberley, but I really like Serene and Jenny and TimJ and TimL. =) Yay!
Studied with MichelleLim after church. I love her :)
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Something I noticed at church this sunday is that I really, really love our church youths. Even though I'm not very close to all of them, and I often feel left out and awkward and everything, but as I look around at them in church doing what they normally do as they normally do it, I just felt this love for so many of the familiar faces. It's not a burning passion, it's just a stirring of appreciation for their unique beings and the part they've always played in my life. This is why I hate it, but I also love it, and I don't think I'll ever leave.
Then again, one can never be sure.
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Today's PSC psychometric test was rather fun. The general reasoning (basically, IQ) test was challenging in a really fun way. There were a couple of questions I seriously threw up my hands (in my head - not like I'm really gonna make a scene in the hall, lol) and declared that there was no pattern and they were trying to trick us. Haha.
The numerical reasoning was terrible, I didn't even look at half the questions (I exaggerate not!) so in the end I just randomly filled in the bubbles. But the crazy thing was each question had options A to P! That's what, 20 options?! The probability of getting even one correct was extremely low =( And I could figure that out even being the math dud that I am.
The verbal reasoning test was slightly better, but only slightly. It was so hard to figure out which statements were true false or unclassifiable. Ugh! I hate it when they give ambiguous statements. The personality test was alright, I guess. Was really tired so just filled in the first thing that came to mind (made a rather lot of contradictions, lol).
Then had lunch with WenJun, Cleaven, HianHuat, ZongHe and Shakura. After lunch Shakura and I went to Coffee Bean and studied for a while. I met Abby studying with her boyfriend there. She made me realise that I didn't know the first thing about Quantum Physics. Oops. Then headed to Simei (Simei! !!) for the dance handover.
Handover was really really fun! The juniors put a LOT of work into it, made entrance videos and got all the food and games and everything. It was super nice and I was really touched. Although I would have liked to keep my hat XD hahahhah. Phoebe gave us old excos this rubber mat puzzle piece thing. I'm gonna hang it in my new room =) yay! The juniors gave all the seniors special "award" souveniors. This wrapped up cup of stones with a tag. Mine said "Little Ms YAY" =D yay! Haha. Each tailored to the specific senior. I was really touched by that small effort. It made us all feel special =)
Then we played dance-rades (charades, basically) which was hilarious. Lauren was priceless, with her acting of "crouching tiger hidden dragon" - we made an exception to the no-noise rule because we were too busy laughing to complain. Haha. Dancing chairs was fun, too. We tweaked it such that you don't just walk around while the music plays, you dance to a particular genre. Apparently "Laura" is now a genre (everyone grabs their heads and moans emo-ly. lol)! It was really fun, the outs took to screaming randomly during the music. This was hilarious because all the people still in would think the music had stopped and scream themselves and rush to get seats. Hahahhaha.
After that, there was a bit of free-form dancing (after all this, I'm pretty sure I won't like clubbing, although I still want to try at least once, for the sake of it). Then we played "I never" which was really really fun! Hahahahhaha ;)
Then took the train back with Shakura. Shakura's really really nice! Yay. I love talking to her so glad we're getting closer and all. Once we move into the new house at Faber I'm gonna organise super-alot of sleepovers! Yay yay yay =D!!
Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:59 PM
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Saturday
24. 05. 08
Today was a relatively productive day. Went running in the morning with papa and mummy. I like running with papa, he's steady - mum tends to speed up and slow down a lot - and mummy together because they'll talk and it's interesting to listen but i don't die using my breath to converse.
Then spent a while lazing around, eating breakfast/watching national geographic and trying to get people to come out and study. No one was free, but by lunch I'd decided I couldn't study at home. On friday I slept the afternoon away. Well, it's not entirely my fault my bed is right next to my bed. Lol.
We went to vivo for lunch (big surprise. oh, everyone should try White Dog's cookies&cream milkshake. It spells F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!), then I took a train (2, actually) to city hall starbucks. It was really full =( Not a seat to be seen! I almost walked out, then suddenly a table was vacated. I naturally chionged towards it (*blush* kiasu lol) and reached the same time as this guy in a green shirt. Who was really nice and offered to let me take it. I asked if he was meeting anyone, and when he said no, suggested we share it. Which was an okay solution because I'd been thinking about asking to share with some couple at the sofa but errrr i'd rather not be that much of a lightbulb *shudder*
Funny, we sat and studied opposite each other ("together" is not the word here) and now all I can remember is that he was wearing a green shirt and had really nice eyes. And he was carrying a crumpler. Black, or grey, or something. He drank (or didn't drink - when he left his drink was still half full) a grande-sized cup full of some orange substance. I remember being amused that both our drinks were not depleting much. He was studying stats (so was I - it was more than a little embarrassing that he seemed to complete questions so fast while I spent three hours struggling through a page. Literally.
Speaking of which, half my stats 4 notes are blank. I really must stop missing lectures =( Or sleeping through them.
Anyway, he did seem really nice, especially when he smiled at the end. I think that the best make-up anyone can put on their face is a smile. In the mrt or bus, I like watching people. There was this really cute couple at starbucks. I could only see the guy's face, but both of them were really engrossed in each other, and not (thank goodness) in the whole touchy-feely way. There was a sort of innocence about them, the way they both talked and laughed, a blind adoration typical of teenage puppy love, and something about it just radiated out. I just felt happy for both of them. Haha.
All in all, it was really a pretty fruitful session. I didn't get sleepy at all (I wonder why ;) I think the fact that I was sitting opposite this semi-good-looking guy whose name I don't know and whom I'll probably never meet again might have had something to do with it) and I did manage to plow through AP, GP and quite a bit of stats. Yeah, I know it'd have been easier if I'd paid attention during lectures. Oh well. =(
Yay!
Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:30 PM
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Saturday, May 17, 2008
Dom is such an awesome guitarist. He follows you when you sing, yet he's steady such that it's absolutely easy to just sing. He'll anticipate as you build up or slow down the song, and play accordingly, but he'll leave it open ended enough such that you can choose whether to build up or slow down, to go chorus or verse, to repeat the last line, whatever. It's cool. He's the kind of guitarist I want to be.
I miss claire, too. She made every song sound new so you weren't bored, but familiar so you weren't lost. Elizabeth was awesome today though, she played the melody especially hard when she sensed that I was losing it, and really supported us all with her steady rhythm. Alvina is really good too! She's improving so fast. I don't know how she does it, I honestly don't. It's cool. She just needs more confidence to play louder, I couldn't quite hear the guitar over the piano. But I find that happens a lot with most of the guitarists. Except dom. Dom plays as if the string is made of steel and will never break (which is actually partly true, haha).
Mark and Ernest did great. Both of them are really good singers. Especially Ernest, I think, since he's a little more seasoned (yuki's doing partly, I believe). I did feel rather inadequate though. Couldn't really guide them much, and really wished Tim had been there to help. But was thanking God that Dom was there, at least, that helped.
Hard day. =( And I should sleep so I won't fall asleep during worship tomorrow. Goodnight world.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:52 PM
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Sunday, May 04, 2008
Footnotes - It's all in the details.
May 1st, full dress rehearsal. Mel came down with the kids, and watched the rehearsal. After that I asked her for feedback, and then to my own horror started to cry. It wasn't so much what she said as it was the look on her face when I asked, I think. Also that Mel's one of the dancers I admire the most, in ballet and hiphop and expression and performance and choreography etc, so it kinda made it all the more worse. That was when it hit me and I was really really really scared that we wouldn't pull the show off. =/
But anyway, we did pull through in the end. She came with James and Vanessa (and another friend) on friday and said that it was really a lot better. Haha. Well, what else could she have said, really? But all the same I did think it was better, and it was loads fun. Chacha was awesome! Haiwei and I even pulled the stunt off (sort of, lol) and he smiled and everything haha yayyy it was great.
Before the show, we did warm-ups onstage, which we hadn't done since FOREVER. It felt so awesome, all of us really felt more ready to dance after that. Yeah! And then peptalk and prayer. :) and then SHOWTIME!!!
Zakihop (Get Me Bodied) I made the mistake of leaving my hair down and putting lip gloss (note to self: NEVER wear lip gloss if you're going to dance with your hair down) so it kept sticking to my face. But it was cool, all the same. The adrenaline while the curtain opened was FANTASTIC!
Then, quick change to Emerald Tiger. Amu helped me, thank goodness. I nearly clashed with Lis and Lorraine during the first part, but everything turned out fine in the end. Yay!
Another quick change to Jivin' Jellyroll (Jive and Rara). Wenqian helped me change for this one. I was complacent and almost didn't change fast enough! As it is I didn't get my earrings on, but I got out just in time anyway. The music started before the sound was turned on, so we missed the whole first part. It was still okay, though, I think. The stunts worked great!! Shaun is such an awesome partner XD yayy
And then chacha. I changed faster this time (no more complacency, lol) and everything really did work just fine. It was such an awesome run!! Yeahhhhhhh
Interval, then up to watch Butterflies and Hurricanes. I know I'm not supposed to be up there watching, but I really couldn't resist! That dance is like my baby :D And it worked great, I was really really proud of them for all pulling it off XD!
Phoebe couldn't find her bun and so ballet went on a little late, but in the end it was okay. Awesome, as usual. Haha. Super loud cheer! Yeah.
Because the emcees had taken some script from after ballet to cover up for the lag time before ballet, the year 1s didn't have enough time to change from ballet to yr1, but I missed the rush because I was downstairs changing for barce. Haha. Barce was good, although I forgot to pin up the left hand side of my gold tube and it sort of fell down =P
The second night was even better for me. The PT air-con tripped so our warm-ups were literally WARM, and without music (the PA crew went to fix the aircon, haha). But after that, the show went on and the hype got up again.
Get Me Bodied was better this time (I put lipstick instead of lipgloss, and tied a ponytail). The quickchange to Emerald Tiger was indeed quick, Amu was so efficient that I managed to be the second one out into backstage. :)! Emerald Tiger was better this time too, I didn't clash with anyone and we caught the starting of the second song on time.
Then, rush for jive! Wenqian forgot to come up, I think, but it was okay in the end, Althea and Phoebe helped me a little and I just put everything on real quick. Wenqian did come up later and helped me through the last part of the change. :) I got my earrings on this time! Also the music started correctly and everything, so it all went well. Gorgeous! :)
Then chacha. Not as great as the first night, but still better than all the rehearsals :) Haiwei and I missed the last turn to the ending, so we were a little late on the ending, but it was fine :) Yup yup!
Butterflies and Hurricanes felt a lot better this night, not sure why. The soloists were all in the spotlight, and Audrey's hitchkick off the box was fantastic. The transition was on time too, finally :D hahaha yay! I think the dancers felt the first night was better, but both nights were really fantastic. I was so so so proud of all of them!
After B&H, Lorraine wasn't up yet so I helped Phoebe quickchange. Then Lorraine came up and I helped her put on her ballet stuff. Jinghan's item was heartpulling as usual.
Again, ballet was awesome. I really must remember to talk to Mrs Lim about lessons again! I want to keep in shape, man. The show was really smooth all throughout, too. Yeah XD
Then barc, finally. This time the costume was all set, and the run was great. I stepped on my skirt so couldn't quite pull off the split, but all in all was very good :)
And so footnotes was over! Now for Alevels =S
Posted by nayrakroarual at 3:54 PM
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