Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday30.04.07THANKFUL.when you can't find anything to be glad about, remember pollyanna and be thankful:
FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.
FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.
FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.
FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.
FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE.
FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE A HOME.
FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR
ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND
AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.
FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.
FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.
FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.
FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANSI AM ALIVE.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 10:43 PM
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Monday30.04.07just another day.My trembling smile is no longer real,My eyes disguise the way that I truly feel.Who can I trust when I long for a friend?Who will be there when my world is at end?The honesty is lost in all of their eyes,The tears that I cry are drowning in lies.Where do I turn when I can't find the light?My reflection is shattered by the darkness of night.I'm left all alone, secrets hidden inside,I want to emerge, but they force me to hide.I'm sick of repetition day after day,Not knowing whom to trust, being wary of what I say.False friends whom I loved for all of these years,Cut me the deepest by causing these tears.I can hear whispers; I feel your stare,But straight to my face, you wouldn't dare.Don't give me a smile when I know it's an act,When I turn my head, don't plan an attack.If I made a mistake, why can't you forgive?I refuse to regret the way that I live.I want to fit in, but what's there to see?Please look past my shell, and look into me."Look into Me." Copyright © 2003 Neena Amarnaniobviously i don't get the credit for writing something that good. ah well. so today was kind of a goner. i arrived relatively early in school today (i.e. before 0739h) and went to my old v13 classroom to check out the curtains we'd bought for deSpace. turns out they're gone (of course, they'd clear up for OH'07 wouldn't they) but i still spent a nice minute or two nostalging in the class. staring around, poking in the cupboard (the silver vip lit file is now under "Integrated Humanities"), fingering the half see-through changing room curtain, straightening my hair in the mirror. i didn't sit down on the sofas or the coffee table or the class tables, because i knew it would be more pain than it was worth. as it is, just stepping into the class felt like i was coming home, and yet stepping into a strange unknown place, all at once.
sigh.
well anyway, house nom Q&A was boring, to say the least. who the HELL wants to know what their vision for the house is man?! wth i can't believe someone asked that. honestly, i can think of more interesting questions, and i usually get 2/10 for creativity. well at least they asked something. it could have gotten awkward. in the end i couldn't stand it i raised my hand and callista raised with me to get their attention (that girl is a rockin nice ct rep =) and then i called out, "can you please say/do something INTERESTING -" (highlight the interesting) "- to make us remember you?" to give them credit they really were not bad. yongsheng did his watery shit dance from the house com interview. i can see why they let him through man! haha i would totally have said something non-interesting if they asked me what kind of shit i was. not that my interview wasn't totally horrible. i was like -50/10 for interesting. well, at least i would have been more high during speeches ans Q&A. which of course doesn't necessarily mean i'll be a good house comm-er, so i suppose it's good i'm out anyhow. go phoenix noms! =) jiayou jiayou
honey was late. -_- LOL i swear that guy is late about as many times as *coughcough* (not counting the times he doesn't bother to come cos he lives so darn far or didn't wake up til like 11), and that really is saying alot. almost more than me too. lol. mr goh knows my face already =( rawr. anyway next time i'm late i really shall go eat breakfast. lol. better than getting CWO.
i nearly went beserk thinking we'd get our tsd results during lecture today. turns out we just got our absurd text, waiting for godot. UGH i've decided i hate absurd theatre to at LEAST a minimal extent. it's so POINTLESS gosh. and jagraj owes me $24. haha. today was a nice rich day! mummy gave me money for the vjc tshirts and the tsd text, and pinrui paid me for the vjc tshirts. i'm rich! yay.
i like my pw group. =) even though jared's in it. HAHA okay just joking. wenjun's really nice! i just realised that =) haha cos sat next to him in physics today. im so screwed for it la. my whole acad life is just screwed up. maths was okay, although i totally took twice the time everyone else took to get the stuff. arrgh laura you suck man. KI was um, absurd. lol.
vj netball played tp! abby was GS for tpjc, it was cool =) she played quite well (relatively). we won 43-19 =) yeah! it was cool sui hui is like REALLY good. i just wish life was more fair in the whole talent thing. haha. geri was totally great too. that girl has a split dancers would envy man. honestly. and the rest of the team was just gorgeous. =) i
think dee got a bit demoralised, hope not. she's good and she should know it. serena and riana and eirene are just. wow. haha i feel damn safe with them on court. not like they're invincible or anything, though. but yeah it's cool. like serena could tip a lop without even jumping. i mean what, do her fingers extend or something? lol. yay everyone's gotten so good! i'm so happy for them. of course wished that we'd be going on, but at least as a team we've improved and all =)
when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long in the first place. (=
*hug* i love you! :)
Posted by nayrakroarual at 9:50 PM
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Wednesday25.04.07DANCE SYF 2007it was so exciting and thrilling and scary! UCC runs like clockwork, but HOW THE HELL can they place like five to six schools in a TINY holding area altogether?! are they crazy? i mean it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the unglam LOBBY where we can't play any music/ do any cheers/ do anything productive! plus it's so small. we're dancers. we naturally take up lots of space, with all our costumes and props and stretching and everything. we NEED changing rooms where we can fret over our hair and costumes and makeup and play our music and everything without cramping other schools' styles. and it's so not like UCC doesnt have tons of them, we walked past them on our way to the stage la.
anyway, i'm quite sad i didn't get to see SRJC. apparently they were very good, but i also heard it was alot of visuals. nj's was boring, but full of gorgeous technique. rather scgs style, if you ask me. but more boring. =P but good. i saw shi and reg and mini! =D yayy i REALLY wish we kept in touch more. sigh. anyway, yay! =)
tj's was cool, although i only saw the last half or so. the costume was kinky lol but yeah damn cool. the masks too. honestly. haha i saw michelle! recognised her by her hair. lol. she danced good man. yay. their dance was cool. honestly. yea! and they were the only school to make good use of their guys. nj should just realise that guys can actually do more stuff than carry the girl in and run out.
okay TPJC's was just scary. scarily GOOD. i had NO idea xu jie could choreograph so well, honestly. the hoop skirts and all had looked weird when they walked into the holding area, but on stage they were absolutely gorgeous. it was some abstract dance where they either lifted up the hoop skirts so we could only see their bottom half clearly and concentrate on footwork, or let it down so we'd concentrate on their upper half. the concept was simply brilliant. and the choreo was simple but elegant, showing technique style grace and performance control without throwing it in your face. the first part, it was completely silent, no music. but OMG everyone was so on time! and i mean EVERYONE. a few dancers walking here and there and doing small solo bits is expected, do-able. the whole fifteen people triangle doing things in exact coordination and perfect timing, blocking and style, WITHOUT MUSIC, is just scary. honestly. WOW. if they don't get gwh... *shakes head* lets just say it wont happen la. its really good.
RJ's was not bad. the starting was gorgeous, some emo thing with samsui people in grey outfits and red hats and wooden chairs. then this clashy factory mechanical hiphop music came on with other people coming in trying to hiphop and all. more than a tad too abrupt and clashy. plus the steps were really repetitive. you couldn't gel the two dances, the styles just clashed more than was intended. but the ending was absolutely gorgeous and completely saved their dance. it ended as the samsui people crowding around the stack of their wooden chairs and been taken picture of by one of the new-age hiphop girls, while this hiphop guy kept taking pictures of the last samsui person who rolled slowly across the stage away from him. the music faded out, ending with "we are what we make the world to be" or SOMETHING like that. really, really nice effect.
Nayang's was like a powerhouse not of ballet technique like nj's, but gymnastics and cheerleading. honestly. trust falls, everything. good stunts, though. and everyone seemed to be made of rubber. the bridges, backrolls, splits, kicks, whewwwww. the dancing, not so great. but not bad. but the blocking! omg. the last pose was everyone crowding in a spotlight at the centre of the stage with this girl lifted up. and THEY WERE OFF CENTRE so that some of them were like out of the light. i mean, honestly.
MI's was messy. and slightly unprofessional. heh. looked like tigers or cats or kangeroos or something. apparently they were lions? haha i dunno. anyway yep. MJ's was not bad. really scary makeup, cool outfits, rolling chairs. very nice, zaki done. a bit messy though, the blocking wasn't great. but nice. i still like ours, though. yay!
speaking of ours, it was a relatively good run, but not the best. cheryl got stuck on the floor by her skirt and ruiqi fell down at the end. I almost fell during my double attitude and pirouette, ruth almost fell during her penche, and audrey clashed into jessie. actually i didn't see the last two bits, but that's what i heard from them anyway. =( but the ending was nice and the blocking was super gorgeous. =) steph and clarissa and ean hong and stella and jinglin and chienwei came down to support us! so nice of them la. plus mr teo my maths tutor, mr chow, mr seet, ms ng the pe teacher, and some other teachers i didn't know. the non-syf dancers came too, was really touched they did =) yea it was cool! despite all the chaos of the morning, we pulled through.
Thank you so so much:
-chunhan
-mark
-axis
-jiaxin
-geraldine
-reema
-wenjun
-pinrui
-nazri
-honey ;)
-geri
-bella
-denise
-amoudtha
-shakura
-prema
-charmaine
-jaslyn
-doreen
-jialin
-eric
-christine
and of course:
wanyoong
mercy
cheryl
minli
kyna
ruth
steph chan
phoebe
hannah
hannah
audrey
jessie
ruiqi
melissa
lorraine
lorna
ningxi
althea
beau
lis
joanne
jacq
amanda
jill
lydia
clare(issa)
cindy
chienwei
steph chen
jinglin
stella
eanhong
last and mostly:
Daddy God =)
i love you dancers! *hugs*
Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:37 PM
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Sunday, April 22, 2007
Saturday
22.04.07
TECHNICALLY it's sunday because it's 12.15AM but whatever i haven't gone to sleep yet which means the day hasn't ended. lol.
~
OKAY i hate it when people start to tell you something interesting. then they go "oh nevermind." or "later". because it's almost always never later, and i just feel like i need to know it. RARRR. haha so irritating! esp people who do that on purpose la. i know people like that. as in they are just trying to get you to beg it from them. (*cough* conran *cough* =P) haha then there are those people who really didn't mean to do that, which is okay (especially cos i actually like them LOL haha i am so biased omg someone kill me) although still irritating. but in that case it's more the heart attack rather than the I WANT TO KILL THAT PERSON kind of thing.
~
okay i hate it, repeat HATE it. you sit beside the phone willing it to beep. or vibrate, actually, since it's on silent mode and it's a mobile phone haha. text messaging makes things easier to say, but harder to interpret. DAMN IT. i don't need this now! okay i do. but aRRGH. before tsd, life had killed the dream. now, it's back but i don't know if i dare believe it and i don't want it destroyed again.
hopefully you have no idea what i'm talking about. i prefer being thought of as a schizophrenic weird person with random thoughts to having someone who actually realises what it means and scorns me for it.
then again, i suppose it depends on the someone. then AGAIN, lets not take the risk.
see? life killing the dream. HA.
okay now it's staring not at the phone but at the computer screen. willing that little blue rectangle to turn orange and flash. ARRGH. it's the worst and the best feeling in the world.
~
saw the guitar people crying. omg. i can so imagine that being us on wed. thurs. whatever. AHH shit la. never realised that GWH meant so much.
saw the softball girls crying too. omg. i can SO imagine that being us after the nj game also. if we lose that first match it'll be our last. OMG everything hinges on that one day. *shudder*
~
i love the dancers and netballers.
even if they hate me.
ohhhhh ohohOHHHHH dance dance boleh ;)
VJ!!! SHAAA!!/DEX!!! XD
Posted by nayrakroarual at 12:05 AM
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Saturday, April 14, 2007
Friday13.04.07I'm a Christiansourced from hanwongc.blogspot.comI'm a Christian by Maya Angelou
When i say... "i am a Christian,"i'm not shouting "i'm clean livin'."i'm whispering "i was lost,Now i'm found and forgiven."When i say... "i am a Christian,"i don't speak of this with pride.i'm confessing that i stumble,And i need Christ to be my guide.When i say... "i am a Christian,"i'm not trying to be strong.i'm professing that i'm weak,And need his strength to carry on.When i say... "i am a Christian,"i'm not bragging of success.i'm admitting i have failed,And need God to clean my mess.When i say... "i am a Christian,"i'm not claiming to be perfect.my flaws are far too visible,But God believes i am worth it.When i say... "i am a Christian,"i still feel the sting of pain.i have my share of heartaches,So i call upon His name.When i say... "i am a Christian,"i'm not holier than thou.i'm just a simple sinnerWho received God's good grace somehow. -----------------------------------------------------------and this is why i am a Christian. even when the people who make church bearable are half a world away.because i'm not a christian just because i go to church.and just because i don't go to church doesn't make me a non-christian.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 2:12 AM
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Friday13.04.07007 Music Fest. liscence to thrill.I didn't know James was part of the famed Camels! And i certainly didn't know he was the legendary drummer of the legendary Camels. haha.
A lot of people said our syf dance was really nice! =D yayyy so happy haha =) it was a really good run, my earrings didn't fly off and while my chanes weren't the greatest as i didnt dare to whip my head too fast cos of the earrings, it was overall quite okay. i just smiled the whole way through (i hope) like we were supposed to. hm. kept thinking of the netballers and all the people that mattered out there watching and tried to perform my best for them. feel honoured! =)
Was really glad HaiWei came after all. thought he wasn't coming. aXis and chunhan were really really nice and smsed straight after the performance to say how they liked it =) was really touched! (and happy! all those sundays in the hall seem to be paying off haha)
I thought it was quite funny that alot of people liked the ending. I mean, i know it was really nice and impactful but haha it IS quite an easy cheater way. then again, I'm one of those standing up, i suppose it's different if you're rolling on the floor. haha.
I need to start my crit comm. someone help me!
Posted by nayrakroarual at 1:11 AM
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Tuesday10.04.07Cold Blooded MurdererYou want to know, I suppose, what turns a nice little girl like me into a cold blooded murderer. You want the truth? You want to know why I did it? Why i killed all those girls? Because I like it.
I wouldn't expect
you to know what it's like.
You have no idea. What it's like. To hold someone's life in your hands.
To be in control.
.
There's always that moment of acknowledgement between a killer and her victim. That instant when she realises your power, and she looks at you, and you look at her, and she pleads with her eyes. And you have a split second to decide: to save her, well, that's great. You could give her back her life, give her back to her family, her friends, the people that love her. But ...to kill her,
that's something different. To take away the one thing that most value above all - her life. Now that's
real power.
None of these girls deserved their lives. Look at them! The actor, the musician, the writer, the artist, the dancer, the model, the athlete. None of them appreciated what they had. They were the
best.
And that meant nothing to them.
I've never been the best. Smart, but never the smartest. Pretty, but never the prettiest. Talented, but never the most talented. But despite all this, I always thought I was special. I thought there was something inside me, lurking within, that would make me great.
..
But then I realised how stupid that was.
...
Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:05 PM
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