Sunday, July 22, 2007
worship was a nightmare. mostly my fault for not remembering the slides. what kind of worship leader forgets to bring the slides 2 months in a row? sigh. i asked mum to bring it but then when i called at 945 i panicked cos marcus was late but as he pointed out, he wasn't late for worship per se, he arrived at 9. we were supposed to meet at 8, but i mean it wasn't life or death, like he forgot about worship altogether and didn't come church or something. i shouldn't have panicked. plus i was completely offset by the feed thing that was supposed to come from the sanctuary because i hadn't known about it, so not only had i completely structured my worship wrongly, the entire concept and theme and target audience was wrong too. which i totally hated. sigh. the worst part is i know i didn't glorify God as i should have, which i feel the worst about because i was too busy worrying about all these little things and let them affect me and yeah didn't focus on worshipping him, which was what i should have done. i realised this halfway through the worship, but i was already so nettled and all it didn't help much. almost cried a couple of times, but i don't think anyone saw so it's okay. =( sorry, Daddy God.
after church wasn't great either for 3 main reasons:
1. i realised vic's leaving tomorrow. so fast! =(( haven't even gone out w her or talked to her properly sigh =(
2. there was no guitar lesson. rui wasn't in church (overslept or something? or like family didn't come or something) dom was at the same race papa was at (some 10k thing) and marcus had to go meet his friend. so jasmine and joanna and i just left.
3. we didn't go for bs lunch. which could have totally saved the day but haha anyway we had a nice lunch at hans so oh well.
then i went to watch the VJD hiphoppers at suntec (the team comprising weian, jinghan, charmaine, jaslyn, doreen and sheena) and they did really really well! i saw styles from beyond (the dancefloor group) there too, they were really good! but vjd didn't win anything =( which is so dumb because they were so good especially compared to like the winning group. oh well haha.
all in all, not the best day. *shrug* i'll survive. hahaha. haven't we all survived before?
something i keep noticing over and over again everytime i watch people perform. it's like when they dance, and they somehow grow bigger, greater than what they really are, even if they're not that good dancers and all, it really shows, and as the dance ends and they slowly stop moving and go back into their normal selves, you can see them shrink back into who they normally are, from that something larger that they were part of a moment ago. it's quite cool really. and that's why i love dancing. because when i'm performing on stage, i cannot judge, i cannot hate, i cannot separate myself from life. i can only be joyful and whole, that is why i dance.
to dance is to be out of yourself, to be larger, more powerful, more beautiful. this is power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 9:33 PM
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