Tuesday, July 24, 2007

i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene...

hm. i think the trick is not to care. because if you don't care, you don't hurt.
do you think?
i mean, i'm kinda sad about like all the stuff i know i'll be like missing, but not like i was really included in it all and everything.
and i know you think it's like me being emo and like angsty but yeah at the moment i don't care much
or at least i'm trying to kid myself that i don't, so just let me live in denial here, NOBODY do anything to break the illusion alright..
the whole don't-care thing helps if you extend it to cover most of your life, so it's kinda like a live-for-yourself thing. which is like totally miserable i agree
but not as miserable as tagging along others trying to pick up pieces of yourself and fit into the jigsaw puzzle that's already complete.

i want not to care but i still do
i want it not to matter but it still does to me
i want to hate you half as much as i hate myself
it would hurt less not to remember the friendship we once had
and still love you for it

aww, emo. =) this is dedicated to my mum, who taught me exactly how to watch everyone, including yourself, so that no mistake is uncatchable and forgivable, and to my absolutely wonderful friends, without whom i would be both a lot happier and a great deal sadder.

see, so emo. haha. i'll probably take this off in a day or two when i'm feeling better, but for now you can just skim over this entry 'cos i'm tired of trying to make sense to people.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 11:01 PM

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things to do before i die