Monday, April 30, 2007

Monday
30.04.07
just another day.

My trembling smile is no longer real,
My eyes disguise the way that I truly feel.
Who can I trust when I long for a friend?
Who will be there when my world is at end?
The honesty is lost in all of their eyes,
The tears that I cry are drowning in lies.
Where do I turn when I can't find the light?
My reflection is shattered by the darkness of night.
I'm left all alone, secrets hidden inside,
I want to emerge, but they force me to hide.
I'm sick of repetition day after day,
Not knowing whom to trust, being wary of what I say.
False friends whom I loved for all of these years,
Cut me the deepest by causing these tears.
I can hear whispers; I feel your stare,
But straight to my face, you wouldn't dare.
Don't give me a smile when I know it's an act,
When I turn my head, don't plan an attack.
If I made a mistake, why can't you forgive?
I refuse to regret the way that I live.
I want to fit in, but what's there to see?
Please look past my shell, and look into me.

"Look into Me." Copyright © 2003 Neena Amarnani

obviously i don't get the credit for writing something that good. ah well. so today was kind of a goner. i arrived relatively early in school today (i.e. before 0739h) and went to my old v13 classroom to check out the curtains we'd bought for deSpace. turns out they're gone (of course, they'd clear up for OH'07 wouldn't they) but i still spent a nice minute or two nostalging in the class. staring around, poking in the cupboard (the silver vip lit file is now under "Integrated Humanities"), fingering the half see-through changing room curtain, straightening my hair in the mirror. i didn't sit down on the sofas or the coffee table or the class tables, because i knew it would be more pain than it was worth. as it is, just stepping into the class felt like i was coming home, and yet stepping into a strange unknown place, all at once.

sigh.

well anyway, house nom Q&A was boring, to say the least. who the HELL wants to know what their vision for the house is man?! wth i can't believe someone asked that. honestly, i can think of more interesting questions, and i usually get 2/10 for creativity. well at least they asked something. it could have gotten awkward. in the end i couldn't stand it i raised my hand and callista raised with me to get their attention (that girl is a rockin nice ct rep =) and then i called out, "can you please say/do something INTERESTING -" (highlight the interesting) "- to make us remember you?" to give them credit they really were not bad. yongsheng did his watery shit dance from the house com interview. i can see why they let him through man! haha i would totally have said something non-interesting if they asked me what kind of shit i was. not that my interview wasn't totally horrible. i was like -50/10 for interesting. well, at least i would have been more high during speeches ans Q&A. which of course doesn't necessarily mean i'll be a good house comm-er, so i suppose it's good i'm out anyhow. go phoenix noms! =) jiayou jiayou

honey was late. -_- LOL i swear that guy is late about as many times as *coughcough* (not counting the times he doesn't bother to come cos he lives so darn far or didn't wake up til like 11), and that really is saying alot. almost more than me too. lol. mr goh knows my face already =( rawr. anyway next time i'm late i really shall go eat breakfast. lol. better than getting CWO.

i nearly went beserk thinking we'd get our tsd results during lecture today. turns out we just got our absurd text, waiting for godot. UGH i've decided i hate absurd theatre to at LEAST a minimal extent. it's so POINTLESS gosh. and jagraj owes me $24. haha. today was a nice rich day! mummy gave me money for the vjc tshirts and the tsd text, and pinrui paid me for the vjc tshirts. i'm rich! yay.

i like my pw group. =) even though jared's in it. HAHA okay just joking. wenjun's really nice! i just realised that =) haha cos sat next to him in physics today. im so screwed for it la. my whole acad life is just screwed up. maths was okay, although i totally took twice the time everyone else took to get the stuff. arrgh laura you suck man. KI was um, absurd. lol.

vj netball played tp! abby was GS for tpjc, it was cool =) she played quite well (relatively). we won 43-19 =) yeah! it was cool sui hui is like REALLY good. i just wish life was more fair in the whole talent thing. haha. geri was totally great too. that girl has a split dancers would envy man. honestly. and the rest of the team was just gorgeous. =) i think dee got a bit demoralised, hope not. she's good and she should know it. serena and riana and eirene are just. wow. haha i feel damn safe with them on court. not like they're invincible or anything, though. but yeah it's cool. like serena could tip a lop without even jumping. i mean what, do her fingers extend or something? lol. yay everyone's gotten so good! i'm so happy for them. of course wished that we'd be going on, but at least as a team we've improved and all =)

when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long in the first place. (=

*hug* i love you! :)

Posted by nayrakroarual at 9:50 PM

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