Monday, October 30, 2006
Monday30.10.06today when papa got home, he dropped a letter on my desk, for me. a letter for me. it's a green envelope with stickers on top and all and the moment i saw it i felt a small twinge of guilt, yet a small burst of warmth, because there's only one person who would write such a letter to me.
love ya, gorgeous.
yeah, the last letter was a year back, and goodness knows when my last letter to her was. but yeah. it's so nice to know that somewhere, out there, someone cares. maybe she's not thinking of me now, maybe she only thinks of me when she writes, that is to say, rarely, maybe we're not bossom friends or the closest of close, but hey. someone cares.
that's nice. =)
haha so today i got a letter from lauren. yeah, cool name, right? haha lauren rocks my socks! i feel so big sisterly and all next to her, because despite everything, she IS still a lot younger, plus living like halfway across the world it's really different for her. i can't talk to her like i can to michelle, or lucinda or mel or anybody, but it's just so nice. i mean, she's so, YOUNG. it's like talking to daniel or david, without the hyperactivity and all, and probably because we live so far apart and communicate so little, i actually get the feeling she's interested in me, what i do, what i'm like... maybe even looks up to me, although that's probably a bit far, i know. but still, it's nice. ego-boosting, yes, and precisely so that's why it's nice. =) yay
she's grown. well, obviously - time and tide wait for no man, as the overrated saying goes. but she's matured too, i'm a little shocked at how much she's matured. her writing's still slightly shaky, but the letter's typed, an email's (her mum's) included, everything. she assumes less, knows more, is more reflective, knowing, and well MATURE on the whole. yeah. it's cool. lauren's growing up too! the whole technology and friends and style and all... haha. it's happy, and sad, and nice all at the same time.
but the nicest part of all is she just accepts me for me. she doesn't really understand me, anymore than i understand her, but she doesn't try to, doesn't try to assume anything, just cares for me all the same. it's so cheesy, but yeah that's nice. =) haha she even assumes that we live in totally different worlds. we do, but i HAVE actually heard of claire's and star wars hahaha the power of globalisation! yay! haha.
after all the bending to fit the shapes of society here, it's nice to be able to stretch and just comfortably sit in the mould that reads "Laura" and just that. no baggage, no preconceived ideas, no need to pretend to be anything, or like anybody. i don't need to care what so-and-so thinks, or what so-and-so will say, or how so-and-so will intepret this. for all that, this is me. i can be me and still be loved, and that's the nicest bit. they say a close neighbour is better than a far-off relative, but to tell the truth, blood is still thicker than water. it's nice to be able to act the way i want, and just be happy because she's seen me at my best and worst, when i was ugly and childish, when i was unglam and idiotic, and she's still fine with it. it's just so NICE, not to worry about being judged, because neither of you care, and just live. that's freedom.
i love cousins.
inside the envelope, there was an icecream stick. the first side said
"Laura and Lauren - forever cousins".then i turned it over -
"- and forever friends."thank you, lauren.
and thank you, michelle.
Posted by nayrakroarual at 10:47 PM
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