Sunday, May 07, 2006

Sunday
07.05.06

i don't get it, i don't get ANYTHING, and it's driving me bloody crazy, do you realise?
no, actually you won't, not like you care anyway right?
alright, that was unfair, i know you care, sometimes at least, and you rock so i should give you more credit. but it IS driving me crazy can't somebody explain to me?
how do you know who "you" is?
no i shall not kop blog entries from chunhan. speaking of which there's ANOTHER thing i'm confused about and no obviously no one bothers explaining.
another thought: why can't i have a normal life worrying about normal happy things like schoolwork and projects and occassionally cca and tuition and such?
or have normal tendencies like I DON'T CARE and * OFF?
no, i don't REALLY want those. but still, i'm going crazy bit by bit and no, you wouldn't realise.
or you wouldn't care. i'm not sure which one is worse for me at the moment although the latter is definitely worse to me at the moment.
maybe other people are just less obsessive. i know i'm accessively tense and obsessive but i don't really know how to change. so i'm worried, what's it to you, right? i've admitted it now, okay?
maybe other people have REAL friends. or what they believe are real friends anyway.
no, i'm not saying you aren't a real friend. note that not every "you" mentioned refers to the same person. but i just end up feeling lost and lonely and dependent and ultimately idiotic.
oh, poor laura, floating around lost and desperate. what a sweet picture.
and you, YOU now. i thought, i thought, OKAY FINE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I THINK OR THOUGHT, but i did assume that you were a friend. we were friends, real friends. are we still? were we ever? KICK THAT BLOODY WALL DOWN talk to me I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING talk to me WHATS GOING ON you saved me from depression last year TALK TO ME whats going on IM GOING CRAZY what what WHATS GOING ON no actually do i want to know YES no NO no YES yes YES yes NO no YES no NO no YES okay I DONT KNOW.

and as a completely random statement, my family camera is spoilt.

Posted by nayrakroarual at 9:52 PM

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